Woke up to use the restroom and was pouring with menstrual cycle nonsense :/. Quickly removed my garments and walked to my room and picked out some new grama ones. Yes" the ones that keep everything all in place! I woke up feeling spontaniouse, wanting to explore and just try something different, I have been always been wanting to travel and explore new cities and states, in addition I do however this might be the perfect time to do so! I would honestly just take all my shit back to my bros. house and just take off in a road tripp see where the road takes me to. Im tired of living this sad, slow, and I dont know what other words might explain the way I feel at the moment but I will get to that in a sec. So, yesterday I did write a letter to manangement letting them know about the sittuation going on upstairs. I felt bad afterwards, I know that people dont like to hear complains about them but honestly I pay my rent too. I also have not been late on it and do feel as I deserve a lil respect having to live under other people! I mean seriously not to get too much into that subject but what people really would not stop to think there is actually people living under them, and all the noise their kids make would really be annoying at some point! Anywho, If the bitch upstairs ever wants to tell me something and get crazy then she will just have to get dealt with. I would simply tell her that I feel her miserableness, If my man was treating me like shit and always calling me a bitch I would want to take it out on someone else as well,and I wouldnt want to give a fuck if the kids were making noise or not!
Yes, I hear all of it! On Monday like around 9 am or 10, you hear her man telling her to get up off that bed! He starts screaming at her to get her lazy ass up and calling her a bitch! He starts japping about how she doesnt do shit for him or the kids. He tells her ,"who the fuck is going to want you like that'!, then he says,"I dont". Thats pretty fucked up! I felt as if I was getting that same kind of verbal abusse as well cause I was too in bed but shit it was a holiday and the kids didnt go to school, so Im sure she was just resting a lil extra! But Damn,then ofcourse her kids are small and they need to be fed and looked after. Ofcourse her man would probably want some breakfast too. All in all, that probably wasnt the way to come at her! She has three kids with this muther fucker and for that man to treat her that way and being so seriouse about it seems pretty fucked up! Like I said, I honestly felt as if I was getting the same verbal abuse just listening to that! ( Flashbacks) I dont think I have fully recovered from that bad relationship I was in. I still have that thing were I feel that I am not suppose to be out much and have to be home. I really dont wear makeup because my kids father would always complain if I put any on. Lipstick was a big deal! OMG, dont let me be caught wearing lipstick cause it was a for sure argument! I could never beat an argument with that guy and even if I tried he didnt even listen! But enough of that!
Gotta work out! Started drinking my usual cup of coffe, If I start working out im just going to start dripping and leaking....:p eeuuwwwhh, I dont want that,I rather go walk,but If I go walk my tummy is going to hurt and Im going to regreat it. I want to write about....How I wish I lived in the country. Yeah,in a place were you would actually walk and see nothing but green around and no people near for miles. Yes, I would absolutely love that! Like that house in that movie, "The Notebook", OMG, lovely,that is a dream place to be able to wake up to and actually breath some fresh air! Take long walk thru the fields and admire all of natures beauty! Ohhh,I would love that!
I would love for my kids to grow up in that kind of atmosphere as well, going to school with nice well raised kids that are actually friendly and with good manners. My kids seem to always make friends everywhere they go and do have manners and dont like getting in trouble. People that live in those kind of areas are more friendly as well,yeah maybe it will be a smaller town where you will be known by everyone and all the bad gossip will go around if there was any bad news ever, other than that I think that is where I would love to be and where I would want to spend the rest of my years. On that note,I think I want to read up on some different states and see which one appeals to me the most. I have already read about Utah,and it seems to be wonderfull there, and georgia...oh,how the country side also looks lovely. Im going to read today about kansas city and that area. I am really looking to relocate and finally leave california and all of this conjestion! Ive had it and life for me is being with my kids and trying to raise them away from all of this madness. Too much to deal with here in these cities, I know that shit may happen wherever, but If they can run around everyday and be able to swing from a tree and probably built a tree house that would be the ultimate life for us. The ultimate life, in deed!
